Thursday, June 3, 2010

Time-Travelling with 90210: Now and Then

I know I've been a lazy blogger of late. Work has been so crazy lately, the only other thing I have time for is uni. And, of course, my social life. It's not my fault I'm shallow; it's just how I turned out.

The other thing I squeeze in between my work-doing, uni-attending and friend-charming is, naturally, 90210-watching. Surprisingly, I have some big news on that front. Remember back when I did my 90210 recap and I professed my undying disgust for 1993-era Brian Austin Green? Well, I'm about midway into the sixth season now, and things have changed. David Silver is growing up right before my very eyes, and it actually scares me a little. Gone are the wishes of Silver dying in a painful accident. Gone are the hopes and dreams that he will get some sort of gnarly blood disease and die alone in a pool of his own bodily fluids. (That was a good one.) Sometimes when he's not on screen, I want him to be. I don't know what's happened, but I like him now. I even liked him with his gross Season Five moustache thing. I'm trying not to, but I can't help it.

Of course, this got me wondering about how time has treated our other 90210 friends, so I did a little research. And by research, I mean Google image-searching. I know, right? I'm like an Aussie Veronica Mars.

Shannen Doherty (Brenda Walsh)

I thought we'd start with the obvious. Anyone who's cared to tune into the new 90210 knows exactly what Brenda Walsh looks like, and the answer is...pretty good, actually. She's even embracing the crow's feet. Mad props, Doherty. Spelling could learn a thing or two from you. Speaking of which...

Tori Spelling (Donna Martin)

Oh, plastic surgery, you cruel thing. You make some stars look like ageless goddesses, and some...well, some end up looking like bad waxwork figures of their former selves. Tori's eyes are dead in that after picture. Deader than they used to be, which was very. Very dead.

Tiffani Thiessen (Valerie Malone)

Tiffani may have lost her 'Amber', but she hasn't lost anything else. I reckon she'd still be able to rock that Kelly Kapowski cheerleading uniform. I must get the name of the landscaper who installed that fountain of youth in her backyard.

Jennie Garth (Kelly Taylor)

Goddamn you, Jennie Garth. Just...goddamn.

Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman)

The fact that Gabi has aged so well has less to do with surgery and/or good genes, and more to do with the fact that she was so damn old when the show began.

Jason Priestley (Brandon Walsh)

I just...I have no words. He looks like Paul Rudd got lost while jogging in 2002 and only recently found his way home. I have to say that out of all of them, I'm most surprised at how Priestley aged. I saw him in an episode of My Name Is Earl not long ago and couldn't place him. That's embarrassing for someone as addicted to 90210 as I am.

Ian Ziering (Steve Sanders)

Wow. Ian actually looks hotter now than he did back in the 90s. The curly blonde mullet appears to have never ever been repeated, and even the ever-worrying receding hairline that plagued Steve Sanders's later years seemed to turn out okay. I definitely still want him for my BFF.

Brian Austin Green (David Silver)

You see what I mean? Did I not tell you? Hot damn, Silver. Hot. Damn. No wonder you're plowing Megan Fox. Noting her sub-par acting skills and trashbag looks, I'm pretty sure she's getting the better end of that deal.

Luke Perry (Dylan McKay)

You guys! Dylan turned into Nat!

Thanks for your patience, peeps. Hopefully I'll have a real recap up soon!


Who would've thought that I, the queen of procrastination and laziness, would ever pull out a timely post? As I have just discovered, there was a mini 90210 reunion not too long ago -- my very own fantasy BFF Steve Sanders (or, rather, his portrayer Ian Ziering) got married at the end of last month. Turns out that following Jennie Garth on Twitter was actually good for something. Have a look at our favourite West Beverly alumnists:

L-R: Naomi Lowde-Priestley (aka Mrs. Brandon Walsh); Jason Priestley; that lame vampire doctor guy from Twilight who is somehow Jennie Garth's husband; Jennie Garth herself; the ever-chivalrous Brian Austin Green; and Megan Fox, who apparently did not think to wear clothes or brush her hair.

And of course, Ian and Erin, the happy couple:

Mazel tov, Steve Sanders, you beautiful bastard.


  1. Oh sweet Jesus, what happened to Jason Priestly?? He looks like he got lost at Burning Man.

  2. Oh my goodness. I am still laughing over the fact that Dylan turned into Nat. You are so funny! Great post!

  3. Dylan DID turn into Nat! Whoa! I'm traumatized. The two guy hotties got old. Steve looks way better, though. I think I prefer 90s era Brian Austin Green, though.

  4. Thank you for this. Just... thank you. Luke Perry turning into Joe E. Tata made my friggin' day.

    But how gross am I for thinking Jason Priestley looks better now? Is it just because I'm a sucker for a beard? AND a sucker for Paul Rudd? Maybe I need to rethink my life choices.

  5. Sadako -- We're going to have to agree to disagree about 90s BAG. Maybe I can forgive you if you're referring to the later seasons, but I have a feeling you're not.

    Sada -- there is nothing wrong with a beard (apart from pash rash), and there is certainly nothing wrong with Paul Rudd.