Thursday, August 27, 2009

Lizzie McGuire (2001-2004)

Okay okay, so I lied. I lied outright. I'm not just featuring shows from the nineties. (Mostly I am, I swear!) But you can't seriously hold recapping Lizzie McGuire against me, can you? This show is all-time! And while ABC Kids screened it in the later part of my childhood, I'm sure you'll agree that A) it's still way memorable, and B) it kicks Hannah Montana's boot-scooting arse.

Lizzie McGuire only ran for two seasons, but they were hella good seasons. Basically, the show revolved around Lizzie, our thirteen-year-old protagonist who was going through your typical thirteen-year-old problems. Bras, boys and bad grades -- you name it, Lizzie lived it. Oh, and she also got to be in an Aaron Carter video, which I'm sure at one point we envied. Also featured in Liz McG:

Miranda Sanchez -- Lizzie's BFF. She was ballsy and cool, but I think she had a couple of self-esteem issues. That's what happens when you get tight with Hilary Duff, I suppose.

Gordo -- Lizzie's male BFF. He was a bit of a nerd, but he was so cute. I kinda shipped him and Lizzie, so that fake relationship actually worked out pretty well for twelve-year-old Lorelai.

Matt McGuire -- Lizzie's brother, who unilike most TV show little brothers, actually acted like one. He was annoying, quick-witted and, in my opinion, the best part of the show.

Jo McGuire -- Lizzie's mother. She was, in the words of Regina George's mother, a "cool mom," so I could never really relate. She was always way too understanding. It's called discipline, Jo. Seriously.

Sam McGuire -- Lizzie's dad. He was a pretty accurate description of a hapless father who has little or no authority. Plus in real life, his brother's Bill from Kill Bill...or was, until the unfortunate naked hanging incident.

Kate Saunders -- Lizzie's arch nemesis. She was always my favourite, because she was a total bitch to Lizzie the entire time, and everyone knows that the mean character was the best.

Ethan Craft -- Lizzie's crush and the token man candy. He was dumb as a post, and it was hilarious. I always wanted him and Kate to get together. (This TV show had two Lorelai-endorsed relationships, both of which actually came true, so go me.)

Lanny -- Matt's best friend who doesn't talk. He's a minor character and there's really no need whatsoever for me to include him in this list, but he and Matt are absolutely hysterical together, so he deserves a mention.

Together, this group got up to some crazy hijinks, as you'll see in the following recap. There won't be a YouTube link, because I have this episode on DVD (please, please don't ask me why), but I'll provide you with screencaps so we can laugh at all of Lizzie's God-awful clothing together. Fun times are ahead, friends.

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